So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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