So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
