so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
