Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Randomize
