At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Randomize
