I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize