I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
