My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
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