the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
