We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
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