So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
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