Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
