If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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