Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
we're so committed to being not committed
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
