Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
