Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Randomize
