Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
