her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
He shit in the fireplace
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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