i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
