Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
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