I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Randomize
