I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Randomize
