i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
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