"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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