ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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