P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
