Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
