End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
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