You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
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