If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
