What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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