Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
