just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
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