And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Where is the hickey?
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Hippo gnu deer
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
