Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
