You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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