I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
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