Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
