i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
