Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize