Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
