Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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