Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
