we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
