He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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