I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
