Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Can you bring me the toilet please
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Randomize
