smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
