The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Randomize
