is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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