Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
