I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
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